We're staying in a Petersburg dorm for the weekend and are supposed to move into our real homes tomorrow. But I won't be, because my host mom got sick a few days ago and is currently in the hospital. Apparently the home stay coordinator informed ACTR of this already, but the information was never passed onto me. Until she gets out, it looks like I'll be staying at the dorm. The home stay coordinator seems to think she should be out within a week, but she's going to check on the situation anyway. Not really sure what she got sick with. Not really sure what's happening at all. Don't really care though. As long as I get there soon.

Russia. Well at least it's proof that you can get sick in the summer.

We got cell phones/SIM cards today and walked a bit more around the city. Nothing really exciting has happened yet. Last night we were in town and a man took a picture of me. He walked up, showed me the picture and asked if I wanted to buy it. He also asked me where I was from. Since I was an AMERICAN refusing to BUY SOMETHING, he informed me I was cheap. He was serious, but I laughed. Then walked away. This wouldn't have happened in Vladimir. This may be my second time in Russia but my first living in a big city. Which we were all also reminded of by the fireworks that went off outside our dorm building about two hours after we'd all fallen fast asleep. And of course all our windows were open to let the breeze in. They weren't the pretty kind of fireworks, they were the loud illegal kind.

I got гречка с капустой и яйцом и вода с газом at Теремок. Maybe they are frequented for their блины but the гречка was delicious. Even better than the stuff they served at the school last semester. And super cheap. I think I know where I'll be eating lunch from now on. I also got a пирог с капустой last night for dinner, and it was also delicious. Conclusion: cabbage is a wonder food.

The weather is perfect. Is there anything better than the wind?

I am in an internet cafe in St. Petersburg, Russia. I've prepaid for my time here, and can't figure out how much time I have left, so I'll have to make it quick. Not really a problem since I'm exhausted and I've only been in the country for about, I don't know, seven hours. I'm not bursting with things to say like last time. Orientation was no big deal and I'm not consumed by the wonder of Russia the way I was last time. I've been here before. Russia. Not Petersburg. Still, it's familiar. Being here takes no getting used to, being back in Russia simply feels good. And I've realized it's the only country outside of the United States that I've been to more than once.

Anyway, my first impressions of Peter were not what I expected. The weather is my favorite thing so far, and while it's very beautiful, I'm not terribly awestruck. The canals are amazing but there are more important things to me here that I'm noticing. I'm more impressed by the mood, the pace. It's not as boring as Vladimir or chaotic as Moscow. It also doesn't feel as alive as Moscow, but just very comfortable. So where Moscow may be a better breeding ground for adventures, I've already decided that Petersburg feels like home. Again, I've been here a mere seven hours but that's what I decided is my feeling towards this city at this point. It may change. But I plan to write if it does.

So many things are different now. I'm coming into this semester with hindsight and experience, albeit a meager two months of experience, but I made enough mistakes last semester to know better this time around. I've already been speaking Russian a great deal and, to my surprise, I've been really genuinely enjoying it. I'm getting ready to work harder but enjoy it more. I do think individuals are highly influenced by their environments and, while I can't blame my laziness entirely on Vladimir, I do think it was not the best place for me and influenced my day to day habits. Here I already feel like I can breath better. We're also not starting out in the dead of winter, so that must help as well.

Basically, I'm safe, happy and really, really optimistic. I can see no reason why this won't be an incredible semester.

I will be returning to Russia exactly one week from today, so I'm restarting this blog. I'll be living in St. Petersburg this time. The word on my host mom, Nina Vasilievna Dovgart, is that she enjoys crosswords, music, and knitting. She has a son, Alexei, who is married and lives separately but visits often. I'll live near the center with a 15 minute walk to school. So far so good.

On the way back home from Russia, I'll be stopping by Germany to do some independent travel for a couple weeks. I'll be back home on December 30th.

My mailing address is:
191186 St. Petersburg
ul. Kazanskaya, d. 6
Laurie Spector
RUSSIA

I definitely have different expectations and goals going into the semester this time around. I guess that's obvious, last semester was my first trip to Russia and I didn't know what to expect. I'm gonna try to travel more, make more Russian friends, immerse myself in the Jewish community and speak a lot less English. But we'll see what happens.

Early Sunday morning (Moscow time) I left Russia to return home due to a family emergency. Because of visa problems, I won't be returning to finish this semester. The plan for now is to find a job and practice my Russian however I can. My goal is to return to Russia this fall, to study in St. Petersburg for another semester. 

Thanks everyone for reading. I might still occasionally post here to reflect on any experiences or events that I didn't talk about before. Either way, my first trip to Russia has come to an end and I'd say it was a success.

I think this week I finally experienced true culture shock for the first time. I had never really understood what culture shock is. When I asked some people here, they said it resembles immense frustration towards the host culture. But I never understand what separated mere frustration from "culture shock". I think this week I got my answer, and it involves the need to almost continuously cuss out Russia and all its citizens under my breath and around the clock with immense vigor. I don't know if this was just a bad week or if it just takes this long to get that fed up, but I was very angry several times recently. Not nearly enough to want to leave, but enough to want to severely beat every single person who taunted me for speaking English on the street with friends or laughed at my Russian. Maybe culture shock just means when you can't take it anymore and clumsily begin to hate countries at large for these trivial experiences. When you find yourself saying "Oh my God Russia, just go kill yourself", etc., it means something. Especially when, up until that point, you spent years of your life dedicated to Russia, its people and its language.

And of course I still am in love with Russia, supposedly this feeling is normal and obviously temporary. Russia is a difficult enough country to live in but, when you can't really speak Russian, it's just that much harder. I took a large van home yesterday instead of the normal bus/trolleybus, which I've done many times before, but when I left the driver honked at me and started yelling. I had no idea why, I had paid as soon as I got on the van. But I couldn't make out what he was yelling at me, so I said I didn't understand him. And he, almost disgusted, just quietly told me to close the door and drove off. Really that's not a big deal, and usually I wouldn't care much, but after several such experiences all occuring within a short time period, it just can get to you. It's bad enough the driver was surly and accusatory, but the fact that I couldn't defend myself turns it into something else, and that feeling of helplessness, vulnerability and weakness is difficult for me to get used to. By far the most difficult part of studying this language, the times when I feel most frustrated, is not the lack of vocabulary or the complexity of the grammar, but just... that feeling when you don't understand another human being and you want to so badly.

Some weeks are better than others, but usually it goes day by day. No question I'm happy I've been here and I want to be here for a long time. There's no more worthwhile challenge, for me at least. Russia can ultimately be depressing as hell but it makes me happy.

Important: do NOT send me any mail or packages.

Here are some more pictures:

This says "I love Vladimir." The city, not a person.

One of the streets I walk down on my way to school.

The Novodevichy Cemetery in Moscow. 

A monastery in Moscow.

The sign translates to read: "President Dmitriy Medvedev is watching you."

During breaks in class, we usually sleep. On this day Kelsey was scratching Madelyn's back.

I finally watch some Russian television news and all I really learn is that today marked Barbie's 50th birthday? I swear this story was running all day. That and something about a pastor getting shot. 

We spent the night in Moscow. I guess the highlights were a puppet theater performance of Gulliver's Travels, lunch in a Georgian restaurant and a visit to that huge cemetery. It was all nice. I was really happy to stay in a hostel again. I forgot how nice they are, and we heard a lot of Americans, which was thrilling for me. I miss the sound of Americans speaking English. That's what I miss the most. Which I wouldn't have expected. It's just the sound of me belonging, fitting in, I guess. I kind of miss that.

On Sunday morning I left the hostel early to buy my friends some flowers for International Women's Day. In Vladimir and Moscow, you can find tiny 24-hour flower stores or kiosks on every block. It's extremely common throughout the year. Somehow giving flowers is either more common or important in Russia than the US. On this day, men are practically required to buy flowers for the women in their lives, whether they be girlfriends or mothers or teachers. I approached a kiosk to buy the flowers, and there was a young boy, maybe about 17, also there to buy something. He looked giddy, excited, full of energy, smiling. After buying his flowers, he wished the women working there a happy holiday, turned to me and did the same, then immediately set off running down the street. It was really sweet. The holiday definitely trumps Valentine's Day, it's a much bigger deal though both are celebrated in Russia. 

Alla lectured me the other day because she said I go to Madelyn's apartment too often. It was the most tense moment of our relationship and it annoyed me a great deal, actually. She has many good, legitimate points but overall, in truth, I'm not her real daughter and I should be allowed to spend my time where I want to. Madelyn's host mom (and Madelyn) has invited me over and seems fine with my spending time there. I shouldn't eat her food, though, I admit it's right that I eat at home, but otherwise, I don't know. I think Alla wishes I spent more time at home in general, and it bothers her that I'm spending it in someone else's. She refuses to call my cell phone when she worries about me cause she says she doesn't want to bother or control me. But still I feel a little restricted in her home. Of course I knew, more or less, what I was getting into when agreeing to live with a host family. But still, part of the reason I came to Russia was to be more independent and sometimes I don't feel that living with Alla. This is why I want to stay in Russia longer, but maybe not with a host family again. And as comfortable as I feel living in Alla's home, and as much as I like Alla, I wouldn't want to live with her another semester. But I'll definitely visit.